Dear John Paul, A little over a week ago, you turned 8 months old. Since then we have been busy getting ready for the Joe and Liam to start school, we have said goodbye to Lucy, the college girl who was helping us this summer and your Dad has gone on a business trip to Texas! We have been spoiled with Aunt Suzanne staying with us to help out this week while she's on break from nursing school.
In all honesty, I have been struggling a little over the past couple of weeks...it's been a while since you have been able to smile --a few months at least....and I am realizing how incredibly weak I am...how much I rely on those little human consolations or affirmations...I struggle with not being able to get a visible reaction from you when we play peek-a-boo, or play games, or read stories. I think I was having a little bit of a pity party. But today it struck me a different way. I know you would smile if you could, but how often does Christ shower us with graces and gifts that we fail to acknowledge out of pure ingratitude...how often, on a daily basis do I take Christ's sacrifice on the cross for granted...and yet He never stops giving, never stops loving...because He knows how weak I am. John Paul, it's o.k. that you lost your smile...you can have mine. I hope my smile will tell the world what a gift I think you are, to me, to your dad, to your siblings, to everyone who knows your story. No more pity parties...I love every step along this journey with you...you don't need to smile because your beautiful life inspires joy in so many.
Love you always,